CHILLTOWN LUNCH

Blizzard of the month, adventure of a lifetime.

Grub Street recently ran a round-up of the season’s best pumpkin desserts and included among them was the Pumpkin Pie Blizzard at Dairy Queen on West Side Avenue. Not one to visit the west side… ever… I depended on my iPhone’s Google Maps to show me the way but I made a terrible mistake typing in “513 Westside Ave” which doesn’t really exist. Google Maps mistakes a northern extension of West Side Avenue for my typo and sent me a few blocks just southwest of White Mana instead.

It’s a one-way street off a neglected dirt and rock stretch of St. Paul’s Avenue lined with dilapidated shacks, barbed wire fences, abandoned construction equipment and burnt out cars. But that doesn’t mean there’s no signs of life. As soon as I realized I was trapped and plotting safe passage around the block, they started racing ATVs. I don’t who they are, but they’re people who know they’re somewhere they can fearlessly race recreational vehicles without police coming around. So rather than find out what would have happened if The Bonfire of the Vanities met Mad Max, I found room on the sidewalk to turn around, headed back east on St. Paul’s and got the hell out of there.

After that I deserved a treat, re-entered the address and found my way to the corner of Union and West Side where a battered Dairy Queen with bullet-proof walk-up windows stood. I couldn’t go all this way and not get a Pumpkin Pie Blizzard, so I ordered the combination of vanilla soft-serve and store-bought pumpkin pie blended thoroughly enough to turn the ice cream orange but left jagged shards of crust pointing out of every bite. (Of course if this is your thing, join the DQ Blizzard Fan Club for special offers. Nothing wrong with the Butterfinger.)

Of course it’s not too late to find pumpkin ice cream elsewhere. You have until Saturday for Pumpkin Spice frozen custard at Shake Shack in Madison Square Park and my personal favorite is the pumpkin soy milk soft-serve, available not much longer from Kyotofu in Hell’s Kitchen.